Removing Dead Weight Pt1 : The Contingency Approach

So in my last blog, we covered some really, really unprofessional situations you might run into with your band, or a member thereof, wherein you may be faced with having to have (for example), your frontperson bow out for the latter half of a show, or an entire show altogether. Now is where we talk in detail about a contingency plan to keep you from looking stupid in an uncomfortable situation. 

Yeah. It's a really important thing to consider, and something we don't all think about until it's too late and we're wishing we had a backup plan. Granted, if your drummer breaks his leg or your bass player has to get stitches on his fretting hand, those are pretty much situations where it's simply time to cancel the gig, unless you happen to have an incredibly talented multi-instrumentalist in the band who can bounce around to whatever instrument is needed and do the job, and I'm not sure about you guys, but most folks I know only play one or two instruments, and a lot of vocalists can barely play one if any at all, and those of us who DO play several instruments can only play one at a time, so we know that's not going to happen. What, then?

But let's say, for instance, in either a legitimate case of unintentional impairment, such as a sinus infection or the flu, or even if it's due to negligent misadventure  (drinking one's self into uselessness, for example, as mentioned in the previous blog), your band's vocalist either cannot perform at full range, or by halfway through the night is giving out and will be unable to finish the set. You might have a great relationship with a venue and they might let you call it an early night if it's not super busy. But odds are, they're not going to want to pay you your full rate for 1/3 or 1/2 of what you were supposed to play. So you need a back-up plan if you want to get paid and not be remembered negatively (or blacklisted). In most bands, there's at least one other member who is an accomplished vocalist themselves. Sometimes, the person might actually be as capable as, or in some cases more capable than, the person who inexplicably gets to spend the majority of that time up front. That person might need to finish out the night in cases where the primary vocalist is incapacitated. Now, I realize this takes a little bit of the glory and spotlight off of Mister or Miss Frontperson, but if it keeps your band from looking foolish, and helps you fulfill the obligation you signed up for when you accepted the gig, then put your ego aside and look at the big picture. Then take a seat with a smile on your face and be proud to be part of a capable, skilled outfit who can carry on with a member down.

What this means is that your band really needs to have what I like to refer to as a "contingency set". 

This is where you have a dedicated set, 45 minutes to an hour in length at the very least, where somebody else can step up and take over. Whether the frontperson wants to take a seat in the audience, hang back and just play guitar or fucking tambourine or something, or just leave altogether, that's up to them, and either choice is acceptable. But if somebody else can finish out the night and save the band from having to endure the embarrassment of either having to shut down early or suffer from increasingly worsening performance due to some kind of legitimate ailment or negligent self-induced impairment from overindulgence, then it's totally worth the extra effort to come up with a working alternative that will help the band save face and look like champs. And as previously stated, there's probably already a good candidate in your band who can do it. Actually, most likely, in a pinch that person could easily perform 75 to 90% of the material at the drop of a hat already if needed (based on my own experience), in addition to his/her guitar/bass/drum duties. There might come a time to put their talent and abilities to use, and not only should they be ready, but the rest of the band needs to be supportive and appreciative of it.

That's something I personally dedicated myself to doing long ago. Pretty much any act worth a damn that I have played with in the last 20 years has had the flexibility of having some sort of backup plan. In the bands that concentrated on original material, there was almost always some degree of splitting fronting the band with at least one other member. And in what I consider the more fun and successful stints in cover-bands, there also has been a division of lead vocal duties between two or more band members, which is a great way to increase stamina for the entire band, particularly if (as I do) you really push the limits of your power and range when you sing. They're not "your songs" anyway, so why not split up the duties if more than one person can help make the most of the performance?  I make it my goal to not only do my job well, but also to be ready to step up to the mic on those occasions the vocalist falls ill, decides to get so plastered by mid-set that he can't talk straight (much less sing or read his lyrics off his cheat-sheets) or when he throws his voice out with karaoke and bar-hopping throughout the week. 

At any given time, without whining about "needing to rehearse" and "how hard" everything is, with absolutely no notice whatsoever, I can fill not one or two sets, but even an entire show if I have to, if my bandmates can improvise and follow lead. That's one reason I cannot stand lazy goddamned musicians. And as I have mentioned before (and will likely again), I do admit that I have a certain beef with people who call themselves vocalists a lot of the time, because frankly, I don't feel like the vast majority of them deserve the right to stand up there with just a microphone while everyone else is working their asses off (especially those of us handling both instrumental AND vocal duties all night). Even when it comes to famous bands, I can't think of more than maybe 20 that feature vocalists who I really believe have earned the right not to have to play guitar or piano or bass or something while they sing. And I can count on one hand how many independent or local/regional acts I've ever seen in my entire life who have vocalists even remotely in that same classification. I certainly haven't ever worked with any. And the rest if them out there? If they're not contributing on an instrument, I don't really take them all that seriously. I can't. I won't. And that includes people I have worked with. They're nothing more than karaoke hacks who decided they wanted to feel like the cool kids by being in a band. But I'm not shy about it, and I have no problem saying such things directly to them (ask anyone I have worked with). Why? Because I have busted my ass over the years not only to be a decent guitar player, but also to be able to provide vocals so I don't have to work with somebody who I feel is a halfass, and when somebody doesn't put the same amount of effort into what they do as I put into my parts, it's absolutely insulting. Those guys inevitably will end up butting heads with me, because it's pretty much a given that if I ever have to implement the contingency, it becomes at the very least a challenge of rank at that point for them, and I've found most people cannot handle that threat of being usurped. But ultimately, if I have to implement the contingency for self-inflicted reasons (i.e. you're too drunk to do the job, or I just get sick of hearing complaints about "how hard" the job is), I can pretty much guarantee you that your days are numbered, because from that moment forward I'm going to do everything I can to prove how unnecessary you are the first time I ever have to pick up your slack. I never was in a band I didn't front/co-front till about 6 or 7 years ago, and I don't NEED to be now.

But I digress...back to your "contingency plan/set".

Be prepared, because the second you even mention a contingency set plan, your vocalist will lose his/her fucking mind, and will probably act one of two ways. The first is denial, coupled with a little bit of gaslighting, probably blaming his or her shortcomings somehow on the rest of the band, lack of band rehearsals, or some other nonsensical horseshit to try to talk you out of it and try to deem it "unnecessary". That's when you stand your ground, and put it to a vote. Hopefully your other bandmates are sensible folks, or they at least understand which member(s) they could do without and not have to cancel shows should an ultimatum be issued (and this is a possibility)--but if the other members push back, I'd recommend you go ahead and start looking for a better group to be a part of. The other reaction is likely to be a sudden massive surge in motivation and drive from the person who feels now that the cushy position on which they staked their claim and of which they think so highly of themselves performing is now potentially threatened. They may even do something like hire a vocal coach, or even [GASP!!!] start actually practicing on their own so that they are ready for rehearsals and shows. That's great and all (if not a case of "too little, too late"), but either way, no matter how they react, don't back down. Insist on a contingency plan, for the betterment and security of the band, and proceed accordingly. If they feel at all threatened, they will either leave the band or they will do their part with minimal hassle and maybe even demonstrate gradual, noticeable improvement going forward. Either way is a win for everyone else. You need to be prepared for at LEAST a little bit of general unease and discomfort. Your vocalist is not going to be a happy camper to begin with, but if the contingency vocalist knocks it out of the park, it's going to make things even more tense and add another layer of complexity and potential drama, so prepare for that as well. Expect a lot of tension if the audience applauds the performance enthusiastically the first time you have to implement the contingency live. And God forbid your exalted vocalist should overhear an audience member or friend ask the contingency vocalist why he or she doesn't sing more, or if someone suggests that they do. Most importantly, if the contingency vocalist does perform at least on par with your current vocalist, you and your bandmates need to ask yourselves if you have one too many members draining your mojo and your earnings. This is one thing the typical frontperson fears most. Despite his or her high opinion about his or her talent, and despite the façade of confidence that usually accompanies folks who vie for the position, a vocalist's ego is among the most fragile (often more so than even drummers and guitarists, and that's saying something), and they do not like to compete once they believe they have established the pecking order in their minds. They often become extremely cutthroat (even more than they usually are) if there is even a slight possibility they will be upstaged or replaced, and especially by someone they foolishly consider a mere "side person". Should you see this kind of behavior, I think you know what to do.

But enough of that. Now it's time to build your "backup set".

When you put together this set of material, I would also strongly recommend that you completely exclude the musician for whom the contingency will be the spare tire. By all means, be honest and make sure your vocalist knows you will be putting together a set of songs specifically for usage without him or her. But they don't need to show up to those rehearsals. Their presence is not necessary, nor is their critique and/or approval. You need to rehearse just like you would have to perform the songs live, as if "this is the band". Do it like you mean it, because you SHOULD mean it. Another recommendation is to include as many songs already in your set as possible in addition to your supplemental set of new, "contingency vocalist" material. That will give you an idea of just how much material you would be able to do total should you have a very important event or gig that you did not want to cancel but otherwise wouldn't be able to do. Because you might find yourself having to cover for more than one set, so be prepared to do an entire show without the individual. This is especially important, depending on how he or she feels about the band putting together the contingency set, and be prepared that he or she might actually walk out to avoid eventual dismissal, in which case the contingency plan now IS the band. Rest assured, the vocalist will be definitely in touch with at least one member asking how things went, and wanting to know all the sordid details, but it's best to keep things vague and simple and change the subject. If he or she really is that curious, tell them to sit out a set at the next show and see firsthand that you'll be just fine if they fall ill or can't control their vices. Or tell them not to worry about it, because if he or she is doing the job, you will never have to implement the backup plan except in the event of an excusable emergency.

People sometimes need to be reminded in this situation that unless you are an original artist with a following, you are in no way, shape or form entitled any more than anyone else, nor are you any more important or irreplaceable than any other member of your band. And particularly with bands playing all covers, you don't own those songs. That's not your art. You are a mimic. There are no stars in that scene. It is essentially live band karaoke, and you're just another schmuck onstage going through the motions. Having an insufferable ego in a band that doesn't even write their own damn material is absolutely laughable at best. And therefore, don't be a stolen valor diva. Don't take yourself too seriously. Lose the "me" mentality. Do what's best for the band, and what makes you all sound as professional as you can possibly be (at least as "professional" as a dive bar cover-band CAN be, anyhow). And if that means you need to step your ass aside for a few songs, do it. If that means you have to step aside or half a night or more, so be it. It could mean the difference between getting another booking at a club or not, and it could generate either positive or negative word of mouth which might affect the band's opportunities down the road. The band doesn't need to be made to look like idiots because of your personal mismanagement or irresponsibility. So keep in mind that if you insist on being a liability, you are dead to rights when you fuck up bad enough to force the hand and have someone else cover for you. Again, nobody's going to hold it against you if you have some actual health issue, but if the band can still do a show, or finish a show, let it happen and don't be a dick about it. Politely excuse yourself and either relax while enjoying the rest of the show, or leave and go continue to drown your sorrows while you worry about whether or not your services will be required in the future with that project. Just like you replaced the guitarist who you didn't think was doing the band justice and the drummer who can't play, it would be just as easy to replace the singer who renders him-/herself useless by the second set, or who complains about the job incessantly.

Bonus point of consideration: One thing you see a lot of is a strange sense of allegiance when issues like this come up. There are people who will procrastinate, or even choose not to make decisions for the better of the whole band based solely on their personal friendship with one or more members. While I prefer to play with people I actually like, I have only been lucky enough once or twice to actually be in a band where I genuinely like all the members. Some people believe that you should put your friendship before the music, or the product, or whatever you want to call it. I'm going to have to disagree there, particularly if you're only having trouble getting along with one person in particular, which is usually the case. Now, when you have invested time and heart into a project, your feelings are going to be hurt if you are made obsolete and your bandmates choose to dismiss you from the project, but a FRIEND (and just decent human beings in general) will understand and listen, and won't go ballistic or seek revenge like some angry preteen with hormonal issues. And I'm not saying anybody should be asked to leave a group or kicked out or whatever without some kind of discussion prior, and an opportunity should always be offered to give somebody a chance to improve, whenever possible. Again, when possible. It's not always possible, though. Sometimes there just isn't enough time for somebody to get their shit together. And sometimes people just selectively "don't hear " what you tell them. I have had this happen to me multiple times, where somebody just doesn't seem to pay attention when you tell them things that need work, and then they go apeshit when several months down the road they haven't done with expected and they are sacked. The point of that is, just because you don't want to hear what somebody says, it doesn't mean they didn't say it, and if somebody approaches you with things that need to be fixed, whether in an official capacity or as an aside (as a "buddy"), you need to be paying attention. It's not just going to go away. And as I have learned the hard way, there are often certain personality types who talk a lot, but never have an actual interactive conversation because they don't listen to what they're told. Or they will come up with some silly excuse to blame anybody or anything but themselves. It is unfortunate, but sometimes feelings will just have to be hurt. I can think of maybe three times I have ended a band or asked somebody to leave that didn't wind up being a big melodrama or end up creating mortal enemies out of the other parties. Some worse than others, and as pathetic as it is, most of the "worst" I have had to deal with have been in the last several years, with middle-aged men, even more so than teenage band breakups in most cases. Yeah, I know. Sad. You can work with people you don't necessarily call friends, but when it becomes a drain on your mental health, don't prolong it and perpetuate the toxicity. Just take care of it. Don't waste YOUR time or allow someone ELSE to waste it. The point here is that sometimes you may have to base your contingency plan also on personality, and sometimes you have to be ready to replace someone who creates an unhealthy atmosphere. Because otherwise, the band may be stuck with that ultimatum to either get rid of the drinking buddy or lose an integral member (or two, or three) of your band.

To sum it all up, there are legitimate excuses for having off-nights. There are legitimate excuses for cancelling shows. There is no legitimate excuse for not having a contingency plan for those off-nights that can be salvaged. And there is no excuse to allow off-nights to increase either in frequency or in severity, or both. Upon reasonable examination, it's easy to spot the difference between genuine off-nights, and a shift to a toxic band culture. The former can be mitigated. The latter must be eliminated.

But what about a specific example? Check back next time and I'll give you one, and then some...