Old Habits Die Hard (or...Not At All): The Recent Incident That Got Me Thinking About "Band Hierarchies" Again

 

Recently I've had the concept of "band hierarchies" weighing on my soul, and I'm going to do a couple different blogs next go around addressing that very subject. But let me first explain why this subject is so relevant and important to me at this particular juncture, and provide a "case study". Maybe you can relate, or maybe you'll just pity me. Or at the very least have a laugh at my expense for having put myself into such a ridiculous position of dealing with yet another overly-dramatic scenario that could've been avoided with the easiest word in any language: "no".

Towards the end of 2024, I was approached by a certain "songsmith"---okay, I just have to stop it there and say, that has to be hands-down one of the goofiest, cringiest, most pompous and self-absorbed, nonsensical, supercilious and self-appointed "titles" I've ever heard of. It might be amusing if used in a tongue-in-cheek fashion, but when it's a mantle one truly feels strongly about and takes as serious as the proverbial heart attack...ugh. Ew. What? Anyhow, digressing...

So I was approached by this individual with whom I'd worked previously and who in the past had shown a great deal of overconfidence in his "songsmithing"---no, fuck it, I'm NOT going to use that stupid word any more than necessary---"songwriting" and perceived relevance (prior to becoming a pariah blacklisted from some venues and the scene in general). He was coming out of a hiatus and exodus brought on by a string of incidents with an ex-girlfriend who had accused him of stalking, threatening and harassing her, resulting in charges, an arrest and a shitload of embarrassment among the local scene. We had worked on a project from, I want to say, late 2017 or so through 2019, when the shit hit the fan with his relationship shenanigans and the rest of us in the band backed off, as he was having to essentially go into hiding, and the rest of us didn't want to jeopardize our reputations and risk also being banned from playing venues due to our association with him. Honestly, I figured I'd never hear from him again, and hoped he was getting the help he needed.

When he resurfaced, there was a lot of back-and-forth about random music stuff (mostly "gear talk"), some exchange of personal experiences since last we really spoke, and that was about it. Then he started talking about possibly moving back up to the Upstate and becoming active in music again. I was approached indirectly (sheepishly, almost) on several occasions about being a part of it, and I was careful not to give any impression of a commitment until I made sure he wasn't a straight-up liability anymore. For the most part, aside from some---we'll just say---"quirkiness" that I just associated with his personality he seemed like he was a bit more focused, a little more chill and a tad less flaky. At least at first. Later on he'd ask me some kind of out-there questions, about "producing" his material, and fishing harder to see if I'd help him out with a new "band". I had my reservations, and felt I already had closure to that chapter, having gone out of my way to apologize for maybe handling his previous situation a little more coldly and less-friend-like than I could've, and I was at peace. So I was neither here nor there on the matter.

I finally caved and agreed to be a part of his "new" project, mainly because he was bringing on board a drummer who I enjoyed playing with, who I felt could help with the levity and to maintain a positive atmosphere. I came in under the ruse of it being a "band", and I presumed that would mean we would work as a TEAM. Honestly, I am ashamed to have thought it would be different from last time, but I believe in second chances (just ask my serial-adulteress ex-wife..."ba-dump-tsssssss"), so I tried to be skeptically optimistic. In the group chat he shared his first three song demos for us to learn, and when we showed up to the first "jam"/"rehearsal" in January of this year, it went surprisingly smooth. We offered some suggestions to add some length to a couple of the barely-2-minute songs (as the author himself stated they were unfinished and "fluid"), and to create dynamics, and they were accepted without any fuss. Second get-together was the same thing: 3 songs were uploaded and learned, and another productive "jam". That's when it all went down the shitter...

For a lack of a better explanation, I had come to the conclusion that a "test" was needed once the second session went well---ironically just before said individual started talking about [paying for] studio time to record a couple songs. I figured I'd proved my value in the group, and one way to confirm that this band would be a healthy, constructive democracy was to submit some of my own songs. I DID, after all, have a handful that'd fit the "Americana"-ish format, having spent ten years in a roots-rock/Americans/"alt-country" group. Either it would be accepted and we'd proceed forward, or it would cause waves because said person didn't want to share the creative reins (which was my gut suspicion). Seeing as how I didn't push back on the "plan" (as I knew it, at least) or the godawful choice of a band name, I figured so far I'd been amenable and pretty cool. At first it seemed like he had turned over a new leaf and was in fact glad to have the contributions, but then shit started getting uncomfortable. REALLY uncomfortable.

Beginning with strange indirectness of questions/comments a few days before the next rehearsal, he began lecturing me about wanting everyone to have a "voice" (irony about to unveil itself) while also telling me that I shouldn't be "married to" my completed, finished compositions--translation: "I'm not comfortable playing anything other than G, C and D chords, and don't really want to invest in learning your material." Keep in mind that they were supposed to have learned my songs I submitted for this next rehearsal, and I have to also note that I afforded him/them a luxury not given to anyone else during the first two rounds of learning his material: I was asked for, and thus provided, cheat sheets, giving everyone every chord needed, divided up by sections (verse, chorus, bridge, etc), in hopes that it would expedite their learning processes, and would prevent the "I couldn't quite figure that part out" that would've inevitably happened had I not. I felt like it was lazy as fuck for him to ask for the notes instead of actually figuring it out like I/we did for his music, but whatevs. To me, there was little room left for interpretation, and these were polished, finished songs. I left it with me telling him I am always open to discussion about why someone thinks something's not working or needs something else, but I don't want to repeat past annoyances where I come to find out it's apathy or laziness driving said suggestions; I'm pretty sure I struck a nerve by hitting the nail right on the head. 

Then came am awkward debate wherein the guy with the improperly-grounded Rickenbacker noise-polluting rehearsals with his buzzing and humming---seriously, turn the goddamned thing down when you're trying to discuss stuff and aren't playing or at least keep your hand on the neck to ground it a little---and his ice-picky brittle tone, wants to critique my guitar tone, telling me he wanted to "dial it back on the distortion". Hold up. 

Now's where I tell you that I in fact was using no distortion, and was literally using a LOW-gain, Dumble-style overdrive pedal; a Sonicake"Twiggy Blues"---less "overdrive" than a Tube Screamer or BluesBreaker pedal. See, he had this harebrained idea---nay, "obsession"---that this band was to be this "totally new and fresh concept" [yes, I am being sarcastic...AF] featuring "rOcK wItH cLeAn GuItArS" (also referred to as "sCrApPy GuItArS", whatever the hell that's supposed to mean...lol). No, it's not REALLY anything exciting, fresh, new, original or even "rare"---just flip on your 98.5 FM radio here in the Upstate to get an earful of current "alternative", "indie" and "rock" which features mostly un-overdriven, clean guitar sounds. Or listen to the Cure. The Smiths. Tom Petty. R.E.M. The Violent Femmes. Shadowy Men on a Shadowy Planet. The Jayhawks. I could name fifty pop, Americana or "rock" groups who featured a "clean electric guitar" as their focal-point to their sound.

Anyhow, there was a complete dismissal of any commentary I came back with, where I mentioned being fine with compromising by demonstrating why his suggestion might not be "the" answer BUT I also wanted to explore the EQ on both our guitars. After he said "nah, 'we're' just going to dial it back" [translation: "fuck all that what you just said"], I decided to withhold my natural reaction to call him a cunt, tell him to choke on a dick and instead took a 4 day break from all communications, to gather my thoughts and figure out what it all meant. Regardless, it was presented to me like it was something revolutionary and never done before, and it was insisted that this was not optional. Yeah, bye, bitch.

None of those things ever were resolved, and when I started responding (and addressing the shittiness) he went on a classic gaslighting tirade and then hit me with this sudden feigned "concern" over my availability for gigs due to my membership in other active musical projects, which is something discussed and worked out before I ever even agreed to join in his latest vanity project. 

That was my last straw, and I confronted him about it, because it quickly added up: not wanting to share creative credit, wanting to be a bully about changing others' "voices" (this is the irony I said would unveil itself) despite previous lectures, and now looking for something to bitch about with whether or not I'd be at his beck and call for shitty free or low-pay gigs so he could get stage time (despite the likelihood that he'd struggle with bookings due to his bad decisions and police record as a dangerous stalker). Clearly at this point, the so-called "artist" was "threatened" by another creative force in "his" band, and they (I) had to go, one way or another. I made it easy for him by sticking to my laurels, and was promptly, within minutes,  booted from the group chat in order to keep the details of our argument from being found out by the remaining sidemen. I reached out to one in order to warn him of what happened and to just watch his back, but the other was a friend of the individual going farther back, so I didn't bother out of an understanding that the well was likely already poisoned there.

I'm fairly skilled at a few things. Holding grudges. Witty retorts. Observation. Narration. Healthily expressing my discontent so I don't end up on the news. And writing catchy songs as a vehicle for all of the above. What better outlet for saying things that need to be said, anger that needs venting, and maybe even some good old fashioned "public service announcements" to warn unsuspecting people of things to watch out for than a memorable little ditty?

I decided I'd practice a little "living well is the best revenge" exercise a couple days later when I released a song I'd written, recorded and mixed in just over 3 hours online. I called it "BEDWETTER", because it describes his energy AND rhymes with his last name, and that definitely got in his gooch nice and propa', calling him out on his egotism and his cartoonish hokeyness. He was none too pleased feigning victimhood and beseeching me to not "attack [his] art". I told him to fuck off, clarified what a coward he was and proceeded to block him on social media, as he is dead to me for all intents and purposes, but I know his personality all too well now, and even as I type this a month after the fact, I am confident he just had another random thought run through his head about my audaciousness in daring to stand up for myself, not letting HIM play victim AND by making a public spectacle out of him in a parody diss-track that would only be the first of several dedicated in his "honor". Some might ask, "why go through so much trouble"? Simple: when someone tries to silence and censor you, it sparks a fire. You don't get to do someone wrong, tell them how to feel, and then expect them to fade like a fart in the wind. Period. And let me also say, it really wasn't much work, as I drew from the same milquetoast, predictable "formula" as the songs in that project, so we're talking what, 3 or 4 chords? The lyrics flowed right out almost real-time as I decided to stick to a conventional, unimaginative chord progression (not unlike his own work), and as it was about 2 and a half minutes long, a couple guitar and vocal overdubs, and a trip behind the drum kit was all it took. The entire recording process too less than an hour, start to finish. What I'm sure also burned the egomaniac a little was that my song was far more catchy and memorable than any of his weird songs about esotericism and drugs. And most importantly: I did it all (and the ones to follow) using this "clean (s)crappy guitars" formula that he was so fixated on, and I did it BETTER. Not to mention while he was still discussing going in the studio to record his songs, mine were already hitting the web. If he'd have put aside the ego a little, OUR songs could've been released and out there floating around. But instead, I'm now on my fourth release, and he's still "rehearsing". 

So now you're up to speed on why being transparent with your bandmates is so crucially important. I cannot stress enough that when you're "inviting" people to join a "band" with you, EVERYONE needs to be 100% forthright about the plan, about expectations, and about boundaries. Next time we'll start talking about the different types of "leadership" scenarios in bands, and hopefully you can learn from my experiences to avoid making the same mistakes or tolerating the same drama. Once you get to your 30s and 40s, you think "oh, cool, I'm not in high school anymore, so being in a band should be effortless and free from personality clashes and egotism". You're wrong. It almost seems WORSE, because you're NOT talking about teenagers, but aging people of middle age and older. It doesn't matter if you're 13 or 63, you stand a good chance of having to deal with pettiness, narcissism, egos and basically just shitty people. Be prepared, and protect yourself. As I'll remind you in future posts, never forget your involvement in a band is 100% VOLUNTARY, and you aren't obligated to tolerate bullshit of any kind. But if you DO find yourself in an increasingly uncomfortable scenario, don't roll over or bend the knee. Stand up for yourself, and try to work it out like adults. If that doesn't work, exercise your right to walk away. Sometimes that is the only answer when someone proves to not "play well with others."

Good luck out there!

H

Recycled Rock-n-Roll : Repurposing Your Old Song Ideas

 

When I started my latest main project (W4WVK, named after my great-grandfather's amateur radio callsign), I had to change the way I thought about not only performing but also songwriting. In a power-duo--a format of which I have never attempted until now--there is no mercy when it comes to how brutal a responsibility it can be, with no additional or superfluous band members to hide behind or lean on. You're entirely on your own, and you have to fill the audience's ears and play tighter than you've ever played. What some may perceive as a handicap or limitation, I see as a righteous challenge. You can't play chords the same way on the guitar, and in my particular case, you're having to generate a fairly authentic sounding bass guitar tone simultaneously to make it sound as much like a "full band" as possible. It's exciting, terrifying and so rewarding when you nail it. As someone who really appreciates a nice moving bassline, especially ones derivative of classic electric rhythm and blues and Motown, it's a little difficult for me to dumb it down basically to root notes and just doing a low octave of the guitar part, and definitely not as enjoyable. But thinking back, I'd actually done it before (insofar as being content with simplistic bass parts in songs). Sometimes when we develop more complex, "mature" or refined appreciation for something, we find ourselves overlooking or ignoring the beauty of simplicity, even when it is what fits the context best, or adequately enough. 

I had in fact already proven my mettle in this regard back in my punk band days those couple years at the end of and after high school, because the bassist with whom I worked most at the time in said punk band was barely competent on the instrument, and I found myself having to pick covers and write material that he was able to keep up with. Sometimes it was frustrating as hell, but regardless of the lack of proficiency on the bass that at times felt confining, those remain some of my favorite times of writing songs and performing...something about the blissful naivete made it more fun somehow. So using that mindset when composing new songs on my combination guitar/bass rig, I can play "thoaw kinds of parts" with my new setup every bit as precisely and reliably as he ever did, perhaps even better in some cases. Just like Mark Sandman from Morphine and his 2-string bass, or the fact that the band The Presidents of the United States of America only have 5 guitar strings total between the two guitarists on any given song, I didn't look at this as some kind of limitation so much as I saw it as an opportunity to really work on writing good, memorable, tight, solid songs that would stand tall despite the bare-bones approach and technical limitations.

Before we started rehearsing for the new band, I had maybe four or five songs nearly complete that I wrote specifically for this format in mind. My partner in W4WVK has known me for about 20 years (of which several years were spent playing together in different projects), and we gelled so well together that we mastered the new songs within two rehearsals, and we were soon in need of more material so we can put together either some sort of album or a full set for performance. I keep a veritable library of riff ideas on my old trusty MP3 recorder and on my phone, but while polishing parts and arrangements, I found myself banging around some older songs I had written for my "solo" project (that I never had the ego to officially launch), and I realized that several of the songs could easily be modified oh-so-slightly to fit this new band's direction. After doubling our repertoire of original material, as well as hashing out about three dozen covers (which now has grown to a list of over 100 songs) we could also pull off passably in the format, I surprised myself one day by playing another guitar riff from a song I had contributed to with another band (which shall go unnamed, because I frankly am mortified with that project in hindsight). Is that kosher, to take back my riff for a new, better execution? I believe so.

Rewind...

A little over a decade ago I was asked to participate in a musical collaboration with a former schoolmate. Aside from playing in the high school marching band, the only musical performance this person had done outside of the high school marching band was some karaoke when he was stationed in Japan years before, and he was convinced (like a couple other folks I've worked with who refer to themselves as "singers/vocalists") that gave him enough clout to front a band. He could not play any other instruments aside from trombone (arguably some keyboard too, but I never once saw or heard him do so), and did not write actual "music" at all. This particular collaborative effort would involve all of the invitees emailing or sharing musical ideas via Dropbox/Google-Drive, upon which another member would build on top of before passing along, and so on. Once all "members" had contributed, the ideas would be polished and mixed down. Some of the songs actually turned out okay, others were bordering on downright embarrassing, but it was, at least to me, more of an experimental thing and less an actual band, so I just went with it and didn't take it too seriously. It was a great way to express some different musical styles and use some of my "C-list" material that would've otherwise likely been forgotten. The "band", if you can call it that, was not performing live, and would not until many years later, but that's a story for a different day (as well as the price it cost me by association). Every so often I would donate a guitar riff I actually considered "A- or B-list", just maybe something I was unable to use at the time, we needed a song that would elevate an otherwise-unimpressive collection of material, or when I just wanted to impress everyone in the "band" with something more thought-out. Several times, I would come to regret this, because the person who contributed lyrics/vocals did not have any kind of range, or a particularly good ear for creating melodies, and I felt a lot of my ideas that could have really become something special essentially got severely de-elevated. Thankfully for some of these instrumental arrangements, there would be hope down the road.

By sheer accident, I started playing one of those ideas that I felt never got to live up to its full potential, and it occurred to me that if I modified or omitted the guitar solo section from the original composition, with some slight arrangement modifications, I could most certainly turn this into a viable vehicle for a new set of lyrics and a better vocal melody. It then became kind of a conundrum of sorts. Is it okay to steal one's own guitar riff from one's self? Particularly when we're talking about a song that I'd wager had been heard by less than a dozen people, all of whom probably wouldn't remember it now anyway, I felt it was perfectly justifiable. Especially when that entire project crashed and burned and I was betrayed by this person I'd known since we were children, which was infuriating considering not only me going outside MY comfort zone but also having lost other opportunities because the live performances suffered from a lack of vocal prowess. I lost future gigs, and found myself having to apologize, which I took on the chin until I was written-off and treated like a side-man when I was 80% of the creativity in the entire project. Anyhow, digressing. Back to the riff of the song that could've been better. Why should I allow this killer Foo-Fighters-inspired song idea that I was actually proud of to rot in the forgotten catalog of a now-defunct band no one cares about? Why shouldn't I want to make this song live up to its potential and become a hooky, passionate tune that will be appreciated not only for its original coolness, but twice as much for being pulled off in the 2-person format?

I equate it to what happened with the Stabbing Westward song "Ungod" and Filter's "Hey Man, Nice Shot", wherein the guitarist was in both bands, and borrowed his own riff for both songs. The way I see it is that he/she who wrote the riff, unless bound by formal publishing agreements otherwise, owns the riff, and may recycle or repurpose it as he/she sees fit. So that's exactly what I did. I made a couple of very minor alterations to the bridge, added some well-placed stops to allow for a simple in-between-chords guitar solo (replacing a more traditional solo that would normally occur over a continuous chord progression), and then applied my own lyrics and improved vocal melody. It was a 180-degree difference from its wasted original iteration, and I was downright proud to have given proper life to an instrumental arrangement that was denied its potential. This was more like it, and I feel the update also gave way to some significant instrumental improvements as well. Better dynamics, tighter parts, actual vocal melodies and more in-your-face. Another victory. 

At the time of this blog post, the former "partner" in the tombstoned project hasn't ever heard the recycled song (dubbed, unironically, "Reclaiming"), because W4WVK had some setbacks from when we first started really playing together a few years ago, and are just now getting around to recording this and many other songs. And since my other "bandmate" seemed to always have an excuse why he couldn't come support us when we played out, he wasn't present for the couple times we played the song live. So I have no clue how he'd respond once he heard it, although I CAN say that when I repurposed another riff for my "solo" recording project, I'm all but certain he was none-too-pleased, particularly when that song was also written about my disdain for the way I was treated in that former project, and was entitled "Parentheses"; a title which references an event where both bands were booked and my passive-aggressive ex-bandmate decided to put W4WVK's name in parentheses, indicating we were an afterthought.

But that's what happens when your on-and-off partner with the group that originally committed your idea to "tape" is less than impressed with the repurposing of your music. There will be feelings of being disenfranchised and experiencing a bruised ego at the prospect of having a refreshed, improved version render the original collaborative product irrelevant and obsolete. And you think to yourself, how honest should you really be about the rationale behind reusing the musical arrangement? Do you just come out and tell them the truth, that you never felt that your idea was realized in a way you were satisfied about, and that you were giving it the life it should have been given all along? Do you tactfully or diplomatically explain that it's no reflection on the collaboration, and claim it's just a reimagining of the riff as an experiment in and of itself, or are you obligated to be honest that indeed you saw this as a means of "fixing" it and righting a wrong of sorts? Or do you simply stand your ground about it being YOUR creation, with which you can do as you please? Do you brush off any potential fallout as a false sense of entitlement and dare the person who literally only (for example) writes lyrics to even hint that he/she has ANY ownership in YOUR composition?

With my situation, after a good bit of meditation, I decided that it was totally worth any kind of ire directed at me should it occur, and would not hesitate to cite a few instances where said individual had rehashed a lyric or two of his own, and would also note how cavalier he was about working with anyone and everyone he could in order to be seen and heard. Partly because I have not forgotten that I have never been formally credited for contributing all but a literal handful of songs to the project as far as instrumental composition was concerned (in their entirety), while his authorship of "lyrics" always seem to have gotten special mention on EVERYTHING. I would be guilt-free going forward, and would reclaim every single riff and song idea I felt needed updating. I would Lazarus Pit the absolute shit out of whichever of my compositions I choose, and would not cushion their release to protect someone's feelings when they showed me they didn't really care about mine. When a partnership ends, it often becomes a case of every man for himself. I will not lose any sleep worrying about whether or not my former partner approves of me using my compositions in a more fruitful manner. 

Repurposing one's own work is allowable. Art does not have to be contained in a finite existence, limited or its growth stunted once realized or recorded. Sometimes it is an ever-evolving entity all its own, and if it screams to be allowed a second chance to develop or refine itself, it's a crime not to let it take its natural course. In those cases especially where you feel your work was robbed of its potential but can be fully realized with a reboot, you owe it to yourself to capture that fire and make it happen. Don't let anyone try to convince you otherwise. 

Introduction to the Rebooting of a Neglected Blog About the Woes of Being an Unsigned Indie Artist

Hello. Why are you here? By accident? Or because you're a fellow musician stuck in the mire of a local "scene" that really "isn't"? Maybe you're a seasoned musician like myself, with decades of memories, experience and trauma from being a musician. Or maybe you're just starting out and want some insight from someone who had to learn it the hard way. In either case, welcome!

This blog is kind of a reboot/retool of a blog I started over a decade ago. I have recently been inspired to start it up again, but I wanted a fresh slate (more or less), with an opportunity to revisit previous posts, do some editing, some hindsight reflection and maybe some updates while also writing about current concerns, issues and ramblings. 

Musicians are a unique breed, consisting of surly, petty people, addicts, jealous cutthroats & the RARE genuine artist who actually loves what they do for the right reasons. For every bighearted artist who creates music with substance, relevance and whose work speaks straight from the soul, you have fifty narcissistic douchebags who take themselves far too seriously, have no qualms about dicking over their fellow musicians, using and abusing any who will let them, all so they can get their name onto a social media post or a little chalkboard sign out front of a venue. Some of them actually create art, others just go through the motions and don't have an original bone in their bodies. It's hard to be an artist in a scene that caters to hacked, overplayed cover songs by mediocre-at-best cover-bands (and the occasional "tribute" band, which are even cheesier and worse, believe it or not), backstabbing, chemical abuse, shitty business practices & the lowest of standards from performers and audiences alike. But I persevere. 

I am a multi-instrumentalist who plays guitar (in various forms/configurations), bass (upright and electric), drums, keyboards, harmonica, lap steel, mandolin, a little banjo and random percussion. I am also a vocalist, and have spent most of my musical "career" either fronting or co-fronting bands so as to avoid having to deal with some egomaniacal "frontperson". I've broken that rule more times than I care to admit, and it has never gone well. In my teens and early twenties, I also helped manage a mom-n-pop guitar shop on the weekends, as well as having worked as a studio engineer for an old-school reel-to-reel studio. I also am a songwriter (or "songsmith", as one of my more douchey former peers would cringily call it), and have created music ranging from folky Americana to punk, from bluesy-rock to "grunge", from new-wave to metal, from bluegrass to modern alternative. I'm all over the map, and kinda' proud of that.

This will strictly be a blog about/of/for music, from the point of view of a soldier in the trenches, so to speak. You'll find observations, lots of humor & even hopefully some helpful advice from time to time.

Enjoy, and if there's a subject you'd like to learn/read more about, please let me know!

H